Of nightmares and dilerium

So last night I woke up panicked from my nightmare at 2:17am.  I had to check my husband was really him, and then asked him to hold me, while I sang the Winnie the Pooh theme song to my self (nightmare cure, obviously)

I was at my house with Ashley, but we were planning on moving. There are some shitty apartments near our house, walking distance, but it looked like there might be cute townhouses behind them. We decided to walk over.  The shitty apartments were as expected, but right behind those were some really cute townhouses! There was a really nice garden, and Ashley and I were talking about seeing if any were available and walking through the garden, when an alarm started going off. A recording said “no trespassing, dogs are being released, trespassers will be shot” Ashley and I looked at each other, horrified.  We start back towards my house and an angry black and white border collie rounds the corner in front of us barking.  Then an older man (50s) came around the corner aiming either a shotgun or a crossbow at us. Seems like I would know which one but I feel like Everytime I looked it was different.  I told Ashley to raise her hands and I put my hands In the air. I told him why we were there, just looking to see about moving. He let us go.  When we got back to my house I realized I had dropped my book and had to go back. Ashley went home and I went back. I grabbed my book, and was walking back across a field and I saw that same guy getting into his car in the parking lot. I decided to walk away from that area and he pulled out and parked next to me. He told me to get in but I said no and ran home. 

When I got home he pulled into the driveway and forced his way inside. He sat in my recliner and I grabbed a knife. I yelled at him to get the fuck out. He asked why I was acting this way. He said he was my husband. I said no I’m married to W. He said I am W. I argued and said no you aren’t he is at work. I called my husband but he didn’t answer. He said I can’t answer I’m right here and I forgot my phone at work. I said no you aren’t him. You’re lying. I grabbed a second knife. I called my mom and told her to come over and bring dad and bring a gun. The man said I was having a psychotic break. I couldn’t recognize him, but he is my husband. I told Mom to knock on the door when she got there with Dad ready to shoot. I said if W doesn’t open the door then shoot whoever he is cause he forced his way in here. When they got there my dad shot him and his head exploded all over the hallway. I was screaming because I really didn’t know if that was W or not until I could talk to him for myself. 

Then I woke up.

And I had to make sure my husband was who I thought he was. And I panicked because what if that happens to me. What if my brain makes me not recognize my family, permanently. I am very afraid of this.

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